Last July I spent packing to leave my ex-fiance because of his alcoholism and addiction. I was terrified. I was heart-sick. I’d never lived just by myself before. We moved in together when I was only 19 and we were together for 6 years. We were so in love. Then in that last year he went on a downward spiral. And I found that if I sat back and took his behavior, since he was quite adamant that “nothing was wrong”, I knew he was going to end up in jail or hurt/killed in some car accident…or he’d kill someone else. He drank and drove constantly. So I packed my things and I told him goodbye. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. In another two months I was in my own place. I was still terrified. I was still heart-broken, crying myself to sleep. Eventually he did stop drinking and smoking pot and has since thanked me for leaving him because it took that for him to wake up and realize what he was doing to himself. Though our relationship will never be what it was I know that he’ll always be a friend.

By January of this year I was shocked at how my life had changed. I knew I could make it on my own. I suddenly felt stronger and more independent than I had in years, especially after spending the year before feeling so much doubt. I’ve been through a lot in the past 4 years but it seemed that I’ve built myself back up through a lot and I’m ready to start a new chapter in my life.

Since 2004 I’ve built and have been running a website for survivors of abuse and trauma – it allowed me to reach out in a lot of ways. Then in Sept of 2006 I started up an e-zine with a close friend, featuring different survivors of abuse and trauma who share their stories of recovery. Though this I’ve met a lot of amazing people who’ve touched my life through their own strength and courage. www.angelashelton.com titled “Angela Shelton Speaks to Goddess Girls at a Juvenile Detention Center”. More than anything else, I laughed while watching that video. I was over-joyed as I watched this woman reach out to these young girls. She wasn’t afraid to speak the truth to those who needed to hear it the most!

I joined the Ohio Team’s Google Group on the 27th of January. The Google groups are basically our private realms where we exchange files and ideas on what we can do to help spread the word about living joyfully after trauma. There wasn’t much activity there but I hoped that would change. I started posting my own files, ideas, and resources. I started posting weekly goals. Then on February 15th I got an invite to join the team leader’s group. So, in that way, I became the Ohio Team Leader for The Joy Campaign. I started talking to all these other women around the country who were reaching out to their local book stores, crisis centers, etc. They were talking to actual people beyond just the scope of their computer screens which is exactly what I was searching for. This was it!

If I could travel back in time to five years ago to tell the young woman that I was back then that someday she would be organizing rallies and speaking with local advocates about any type of “Joy Campaign”, she never in a million years would have believed me. But I spent April 29th in Columbus, OH for the Franklin County Report IT rally that I helped to organize in order to give a voice to all victims of sexual violence. I was interviewed and the rally ended up on channel 4 news as did other Report IT rallies that were held across the U.S.

With all this said, there is one major change that I need to announce coming up. And I need to explain why.

Earlier this winter I started thinking about moving to Columbus, OH in a few years to attend Capital University because their social work program is beyond awesome. And, upon visiting, I really fell in love with the school. That is until I started researching the crime rate, including the rate of sexual assaults, across Ohio for the Joy Campaign. Columbus quickly became not at all a place where I wanted to live. I knew that, being a major city, of coarse theres more crime. Duh. But, when I then started organizing a report it rally there, and looked at the statistics, there was no way in hell I was moving there. But then, how the hell am I going to get a bachelor’s with the prices of gas and Springfield’s horrible bus system?

Around this time winter was dragging it’s feet and I wondered how the I was going to even tread through the snow and ice everyday to get to the bus stop. When I left in the morning it was still dark out at 7:15 am, when I had to walk, and thats beyond not safe. The dark made it impossible to tell where the ice was and I would most definitely eventually slip, fall, and injure my person. Thats great…a woman who’s not even 5 ft. tall limping through the snow. That doesn’t scream, “Hey, come mug me” or anything.

One day I was riding with my little sister when she mentioned the idea of her moving to Arizona, where our older sister lives, with her two daughters (age 3 & 4…beyond adorable). She’d seriously been considering it since there are no jobs where we live. Our older sister had been telling me for the past 3 years, since she moved there with her husband and daughter, that we needed to move there. There were jobs. Lots of them. An abundance. They couldn’t find enough people to work there. The Phoenix area is one of the fastest growing areas in the country for a reason.

Driving in the car, I remembered my dream of moving to Arizona that started when I was 12, when the school nurse told me about other kids with asthma who’s parents were moving there because allergies are harder to come by there…and the air in general cleaner. Then there was the fact that I’d always wanted to visit there for the weather alone. Its a high of 75 degrees out today and I’m seriously sitting here with a blanket around me. Arizona is perfect for cold blooded freaks such as myself. I soon found out that their bus system rocked, so I wouldn’t have to worry about having no car and about having to contribute to gas prices. I would never have to dread through the ice and snow of another winter on my way to the bus stop.

So that was that. We were moving to AZ. I applied to attend classes at Mesa Community College into a two-year program that will take me to get my bachelor’s in social work at Arizona State University a process that will take anywhere from 2 ½ to 4 years (depending on if anything transfers from what I’ve done here in Ohio – have to wait til I get there to find out. I’ve heard very bad things about Clark State in this area.). I called my sister up in AZ and told her the news and I booked us some hotel rooms to stop in during our 3 day drive down. Last week my little sister broke the news to me that she’d changed her mind, but I’d already told her I was going with or without her. So I’m flying out on the 27th, in a little less than 2 weeks. I’m shipping out my clothes, journals, and important records (taxes, medical, blah) to my sisters and I’m starting over from scratch.

This time last year I was staying with my twin brother, after leaving my ex-fiance, scared to be on my own. I was really concerned about safety because being a single female living alone in a deteriorating city seemed pretty frightening. At the time I’d paid the first months deposit on an apartment that was opening up down the hall from him because what can be safer than having the second half of you (my twin brother) living right down the hall? In another few weeks I was to pay the first months rent and move in. All my stuff was in a storage unit and I couldn’t wait to stop sleeping on my twin brother’s couch. A year later, and here am I am moving almost 2,000 miles away from home in a few weeks. I’ve gladly given everything I own away and, ironically, I can’t wait to get to AZ to spend that first night probably sleeping on my older sister’s couch.

As most people in my life know, I feel strongly about the advocacy for victims of violence — whether physical, sexual, or domestic. I’ve been working on getting a bachelor’s in social work for the past several years. I’ve been taking a few online classes each quarter since the winter of 2006 but finally this past January I lived close to the bus route and I was able to take the bus to go on campus. I loved it. Being around actual human beings and not stuck in front of a computer for hours at a time all day has been a long time coming. But thank god it has.

But I wanted something more. I wanted to join in with something more widespread and more tangible than what my websites have the capacity for for. I’d known for a long time that I wanted to unite with other’s in the fight to show the victims of our world that they’re worth the time it takes to heal. So here I was, wanting to do something I could see and be involved in beyond just a computer screen. I wanted to hear actual voices, meet people up close and personal. I thought about getting involved with Healing Through Creativity, but their main festival each year is in West Virginia. I thought about RAINN until I got an email over a year ago saying that there weren’t any training centers in my area. Then I stumbled across Angela Shelton’s Joy Campaign and the nationwide movement she started who have dubbed themselves the “Army of Angels”. One night I watched a video of Angela on